Rhythm Of My Soul - Chapter 9

I emailed him but he never replied

I wrote to him but he never wrote back

I called him but his line was always busy

I waited for him in MSN but he never came online

It's been nearly 2 months since David left for Canada and I've not heard from him since. It's as if he just disappeared from the face of the Earth. I was worried and upset, all at the same time. I had so many questions running through my head and I know that only David can give me the answers. I read the letter he left me over and over again, each time, trying to decipher if there's a hidden message from him. He was the one who didn't wanted us to be strangers and yet he's the one who's ignoring me.

Did I do something wrong?

Does he still need more time?

I still haven't told him how I really felt about him because I wanted to tell him personally and not through letters and emails but he didn't even give me a chance. If I could afford it, I would have probably booked the first flight to Canada to see him. I actually hated him for leaving me like this. He left so sudden without any explanation or whatsoever. I spent the first month drowning in self pity and regret. I cried myself to sleep almost every night.

I had wanted to do something for David and I knew that he had always wanted me to play the piano so without even thinking twice, I signed my name up for the Talent Show. Now, I'm beginning to really regret this decision. This would be the first time I'll be playing in public and one of my biggest phobia is to be on stage with everyone staring at me. I think I might just might black out and embarrass myself when the day finally come.

What have I gotten myself into?

It's not as if David is here to watch me perform anyway!

However, in a way, the Talent Show has helped me a lot in coping with the loss of David. I've spent most of my time practising the piano instead of thinking of him and waiting for him to reply my letters, mails and phone calls. Although I'm no longer the Ice Queen, I still found it hard to get along with other people in the college. None of them were really interested in becoming my friends. I don't blame them anyway because I have not make any efforts to become their friend when they tried to befriend me in the past. It has always been David and Chelsea. I never thought I needed anyone else...until now.

It's 3 more days to the Talent Show and I stared at my cellphone, debating with myself for the hundredth time whether or not to call David. I really wanted him to come to the show but I was afraid that I would only be disappointed. He has never once replied any of my letters or emails and neither has he called me back. I don't know if our friendship can be saved anymore. I took out the blue box from under the bed. It was supposed to be filled with memories of David and I but it was not meant to be. Instead, it was filled with letters that I've written to David every single day. Yes, I've stopped sending those letters to David after my third letter remained unreplied.

Perhaps, one day I'll be able to pass him this box

To let him know how much I miss him

To let him know how lost I am without him

To let him know know how much I truly love him

My feelings for him still stays the same but I'm not sure if he still feels the same way too. Perhaps, everything is too late now. I don't have anyone to blame but myself because I was the one who pushed him away. With my fingers slightly shaking, I dialled the number that I've remembered by heart. But, before I could do so, my phone rang. I checked my caller ID and it was him. David. I had so much to say to them but at that time, my mind went completely blank.

"Hey Chelsea" he greeted me.

"You still remember my name?" I snapped, trying to keep myself together.

"I'm sorry for not returning your calls and letters. Things have just been crazy over here" he tried to explain.

"Don't you know how worried I was over here? It's like you've disappeared from the face of the Earth! You were the one who asked me not to become a stranger but you've not make any efforts to salvage our friendship either! I called, I wrote, I e-mailed but I never once got any replies from you! I hate you for doing this to me! Do you think you can just come and go as you like?" I cried, upset.

"I'm sorry. I'm making the effort now and I hope that it's not too late. Forgive me, Chelsea. You know I would never do anything to hurt you" he pleaded in a child like voice.

"What it is that was so important that you couldn't even call me to let me know that you're okay?" I demanded to know.

"I can't tell you because it's really complicated. I'll tell you when I'm ready okay? You're the first person I've called and I've replied all your letters. I just haven't send them yet. Trust me, Chelsea. I would have called you earlier if I could" he promised.

"I thought you've forgotten about me or that you're purposely avoiding me" I said, softly.

"How could I ever forget or avoid my best friend?" he asked back.

"David, did something bad happen? Why did the entire family moved back to Canada on such a short notice? You even took Shawn's mom along! I thought the reason that both you and your mom moved here was because of Shawn's mom. What happened?" I questioned him.

"Chelsea, will you please relax? How do you expect me to answer all your questions at once?" he asked back.

"Well, I definately do not expect you to answer my questions with more questions!" I said, frustrated.
"We'll talk about this when the time is right" he promised.

"But when is the right time?" I demanded to know.

"Soon, Chelsea. Soon" David promised me.

"I miss you" I whispered sadly.

"Me too. Look, I really have to go now. I'll call you back soon. Bye, Chelsea" he said.

Before I could even say anything, the line went dead. I tried calling him back but again his line was busy. It seemed as if he has switched off his cellphone. I held on to the phone, the busy tone getting louder in my ear. I am again back at square one, where I started. I didn't get the chance to tell him how I really feel about him. He had ended the conversation so abruptly that I had to pinch myself to make sure that it wasn't all just a dream. Sometimes, my overactive imagination can play tricks on my mind! But I wasn't dreaming. David did call and instead of answering my questions, he has left me with more questions now.

Why did he sound so mysterious?

Why did he sound so secretive?

What was he trying to hide?

"David, do you think you can come and watch me play on the Talent Show this weekend?" I asked although I know that he could no longer hear.

"And one more thing, I love you. I always have"

I buried my face in my pillow and cried myself to sleep that night.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In a blink of an eye, it is Saturday, time for the Talent Show. I had butterflies in my stomach and my fingers were all shaking like a leaf. I peeked from the curtain at the backstage and was overwhelmed by the response of the crowd. It seemed as if the entire world was here tonight and not just the students! I searched among the sea of crowd for a familiar face.

David's face.

"We now present you with Chelsea and her piano!"

The whole hall erupted with applause as I made my way to the center stage. I sat in front of the piano and took a deep breath as I put my shaky fingers on the piano keys. The entire hall became so quiet that I wondered if they heard my heart beat that was beating so fast that I thought it might jump out of my throat at any second. After a few minutes, I still couldn't calm myself down and just when I thought of running away, I heard a very familiar voice, singing.

It was him.

"Chelsea, will you please play?" he asked, smiling.

"David? What are you doing here?" I cried, surprised.

I totally forgot that the microphone was in front of me so I literally screamed into the microphone. Everyone had their hands over their ears as I quickly apologized softly. I was really happy to see David here but at the same time, I was shocked and confused. I wanted explanation but suddenly the whole hall started cheering my name, thanks to David.

"I think Chelsea here needs a little encouragement. Let's all cheer for her, shall we? Chelsea! Chelsea!" he screamed enthusiastically.

"Just play the song that you played for me the other day. You can do it" he whispered into my ear.

Suddenly, I felt myself becoming braver and more confident. I took a deep breath and started playing the song that I've been practising for months. Yes, even if David did not ask me, I would have played the very same song. It was the song that I've written especially for him.

As the sun slowly creeps away
And darkness fills the earth
I gaze my eyes upon the sky
The stars shining ever so brightly
I know that someone is watching over me

*Chorus*
You know my heart
You know my thoughts
You know my every fear
You know my every sorrow
For you are.....
You are the rhythm of my soul

You see me through and through
Through the mask I put on
Through the wall I build
You know me more than I know myself
And I know you more than you know yourself

(Repeat Chorus)

I love you with all my heart
I always have
I always will
You may never feel the same way
But you can never stop me from loving you

(Repeat Chorus)

I will be your friend
If that's what you want
I won't ask for more
Just let me stay by your side
Just as long as you're happy, I will be too

(Repeat Chorus)

When I finished playing, I had tears in my eyes because I was deeply touched. I just couldn't believe it. I felt as if I was in a dream because everything seemed so perfect. Suddenly, I did not see the crowd. The hall was empty and the only person that was there with me was David. I had not expected David to write beautiful lyrics to fit into the song that I was playing. I've only played to him once but he had remembered every tune to the song.

And his voice.....trust me, I'm not being dramatic here but it sounded...angelic? Fine, so I've never heard angels sing before but it seemed like it's the most appropriate word to use. He was really good, in fact even better than some of the singers nowadays. It was perfect. Yes, that's the word. Perfect.

The hall erupted into cheers and applaud as he led me to the center on the stage and we gave our thank you bows together. I let him led me around as if I'm a puppet because I just couldn't take my eyes off him.

"David....What? How? Why? When?" I fumbled with my words, once we're backstage.

"Calm down, Chelsea. You look as if you're about to faint from shock at any time" he said, laughing.

"How come you're here? And that song? How did you know?" I asked.

"Chelsea, I wanted to give you a surprise. I've known for quite some time that you joined this competition from my friends and I just wanted to show you some support. You've written that song for me and I decided to add my own lyrics for you in return. Sorry that you have to share your limelight with me" he explained.

"David, I'm just so glad that you're back. If you hadn't come, I would have probably died from stage fright. Thank you for everything" I sighed, hugging him tight.

"I miss you. I'm sorry for not keeping in touch with you these two months and making you worried. But I'm really happy that you're still worried about me " he whispered, into my ears.

"What are you talking about? Of course, I'm worried about you! You're my..." I started to say but was cut off.

"I know, you're best friend" he finished it for me.

"Well, David about that....there's something I want to tell you. I......." Again, I didn't get to finish what I say.

"You can tell me later. Right now, I have someone special that I really want you to meet. Wait for me here, okay?" he said and left before I can stop him.

"But David, I wanted to tell you that I want to be more than your best friend. I wanted to tell you how much I love you" I sighed, sadly to myself.

I waited for him and just when I was about to call a search party for him, I spotted him among the crowd. I was so afraid that he would suddenly disappear again. However, the smile started to disappear from my face when I saw him coming hand in hand with another girl, around ourage or maybe younger. They looked very close together and I felt myself turning green with envy. And I hate the colour green!

"I would like you to meet Charlene. She's my....." David introduced.

"Girlfriend. You must be Chelsea" Charlene finished his sentence for him.

"Hi" I said, swallowing a lump in my throat.

"Charlene! What are you doing?" David shrieked, slightly embarassed.

"Oh, darling. You don't have to be shy. We can't hide this from everyone" she said, giggling.

"How long have you two been together?" I forced myself to ask.

"Forever, from the day we were born! The only time that we were separated was when he moved here. But that problem has been solved because I'm moving in with him!" she said, kissing David's cheeks.

I knew I could not stand looking at them any longer.

I was afraid that I might break down into tears.

I don't know what was worst.

David lying to me about not having a girlfriend back in Canada.

Or Charlene getting all lovey dovey with David in front of me.

Or knowing, that this time, I've lost David for good.

"It's nice meeting you, Charlene. I have to go now. See you" I said, quickly excusing myself from them.

I couldn't even look at David.

I turned away from them and immediately my tears started to fall.

And then I broke into a run.

I didn't care where I was going.

I didn't look where I was going.

I just needed to get away.