Loving You *One Shot*

I stood there, in the cold, all by myself.

A tear trickle down my cheeks.

There he is, right in front of me

But here I am, still wishing that it is not him

That this is all just a horrible nightmare

And I would wake up soon.

He suddenly looked up to my direction and our eyes met. I still remember how he used to joke that we could smell each other from miles apart. However, this time, none of us is smiling or laughing. His face first registered a shock and then he became as pale as the colour of his bride’s wedding gown. I could no longer control my tears as they streamed down my cheeks. I turned away from him with a heavy heart. 

“Krystal!” he screamed my name.

I stopped in my tracks and hesitated before I started running as fast as my feet could take me. Memories of us being together keep flashing through as if there is a movie of us playing in my mind. No matter how hard I try to push them away, they keep coming back to haunt me.

“Krystal, please! Let me explain!” his voice penetrated my mind.

My heart wanted to stop and hear him out but my mind wouldn’t let me. I guess I was afraid of what he might say. Hearing it from another person’s mouth, in this case, his brother saddened me greatly but to hear it straight for his mouth, I was afraid that his words might just kill me. I didn’t even dare to look back because if I did, I knew I would never be able to look away again.

He didn’t love me.

He never loved me.

Everything, right from the start, was nothing but lies.

But I fell for him and I fell hard.

And I don’t think I’m going to be able to stand up again.

Suddenly, I heard a loud screech followed by a bang. Just like in the movies, everything around me came to a complete halt. I strained my ears, hoping to hear him call my name again but instead all I heard was people screaming and crying. I turned towards the commotion but I could only see a group of people surrounding the car. I started walking towards it and without even realizing it, I started running and pushing my way through the crowd.

I wanted to scream but I couldn’t find my find my voice.

I wanted to cry but no tears could come out.

I just stood there, not wanting to believe what I’m seeing.

There was blood everywhere.

And then, everything went black.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

-2 Years Ago-

“Hey, partner”

Before I could say anything, he put his food tray beside me and sat down. If eyes could kill, I would have died right there and then. Even without turning around, I could feel everyone’s eyes burning on my back. I had gone through the same feeling when the lecturer announced that I would be partnering with him for a project.

I have always been the wallpaper girl, the kind of girl that just disappears in the background. I minded my own business and I have very few friends, so few that five fingers on one hand is too much for me to count. Sometimes, my own classmates don’t even recognize me as being in the same class with them. I just don’t stand out. Basically, socializing and me…we’re sworn enemies. Daniel, on the other hand is the prince of socializing. He is not only smart but also athletic making him both the president of the Science club and the Captain of the football team. Although he is always surrounded by a group of people, I couldn’t help but to notice a hint of loneliness in his eyes.

Right from the start, we were both as different as day and night.

“Krystal, with a ‘K’” he said, when I did not answer him.

I looked up at him, surprised that not only did he remember my name but also how it is spelt.

“For a moment, I thought you were Krystal’s statue” he commented.

“Haha….very funny” I said, knowing that he was referring to my lack of reaction.

“Oh…..so she can speak too!” he added playfully.

“What do you want?” I asked, feeling irritated.

“I just want to eat lunch with you and get to know my partner more. Whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with me” he replied, with a wink.

From that day onwards, Daniel and I became inseparable. We became great partners then friends and before long, we fell in love with another. Everything happened so fast but we both knew that it was meant to be. We just fitted each other like missing jigsaw pieces. Daniel changed my life completely the moment he entered into my life. He took the pain to break down each of the wall that I’ve built up and his love made me into a better person.

However, our relationship always faced hurdles, one after another and it was not always smooth sailing. Daniel’s ex girlfriend, Selena had a hard time accepting our relationship and kept trying to sabotage us. She has caused us so many misunderstandings that I’ve lost count but Daniel and I always managed to reconcile back. Seeing that her tactics were useless, she resorted into a cruel plan. That’s when Daniel’s parents came into the picture. I thought Selena was evil but his parents were worst. I always thought those evil rich parents that you see on TV are merely fictional characters but Daniel’s parents were every bit like them, if not worst.

I now know why there was always a hint of loneliness in Daniel’s eyes even though he is surrounded by lots of friends. His parents never had the time for him and since young; he had been trying hard to excel in everything he does just to please them. Like every other child, he too hungered for his parents’ love and attention but they were never there for him. Seeing him made me realize how much lucky I am to have my Dad.

His parents thought of me as someone who is not worthy of their son and someone who is just after their money. I’m sure they were already poisoned with Selena’s lies and make believes. It didn’t help that Selena is Daniel’s childhood friend and his parents have always loved her like their own daughter. I know, no matter what I say or do, they will always think of me as the girl who is after their son for their money.

Daniel has conveniently left out this small detail out of his life and I don’t blame him either, because I never bothered to ask. I would have loved him anyway, even if he is a homeless guy. Well, as fate has it, Daniel is the youngest son of a multi millionaire and since then, my life was a living hell. There were many times when I thought of giving up but whenever I thought of losing him, I’d rather go through the pain and sufferings. Daniel tried everything he could to protect me but I never told him about the things that had happened when he wasn’t around. I love Daniel too much to put him in a position where he had to choose between his parents and me.

I was made to feel useless and worthless.

I was humiliated in front of everyone.

I was slapped right across my face and treated like a piece of trash.

I was treated like a beggar when they threw money at me.

I was being hurt right, left and centre but it all didn’t matter because I had him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I woke up with a terrible headache and suddenly, everything came back to me. I felt as if a lorry just ran over me. All my hatred and disappointment toward him vanished immediately. It didn’t matter that he cheated on me. It didn’t matter that he was marrying someone else. It didn’t matter that he didn’t love me. It didn’t matter that all my sacrifices meant nothing to him. I just wanted him to be safe. That was all that mattered at that point of time. Yes, that’s how much I love him as stupid as it may sound. 

I jumped out of bed but my Dad held me down on the bed again. I tried to struggle but the harder I struggled, the firmer his grip became. I finally gave up and started screaming and crying as images of Daniel drenched in blood started flashing through my mind. 

“Krystal, please calm down” my Dad cried, hugging me tight. 

“Daniel…How…Where….” Was all I managed to say.

“He’s okay” he assured me.

“Are you sure? But I…I saw him…It’s all my fault” I cried, through my tears.

“Hush, darling…it’s not your fault” my Dad said, smoothing my hair.

“I need to see him, Dad” I pleaded with him.

“His parents are still with him. I don’t think that’s a good idea” he answered.

When my Dad found out about Daniel’s family background, he has advised me to give him up because he could foresee that it would not be an easy road due to the difference of our status quo. It was hard on my Dad to see his only daughter being humiliated and hurt but at the same time, he also knew that I would suffer even more if I’ve given up Daniel without a fight. As such, Dad has been understanding and supportive of my decision.

Suddenly, there was a soft knock on my door and before we could say anything more, Daniel’s parents walked in. I held my breath as my Dad stood up protectively in front of me. I lightly push my Dad away to face them. This is my fight, not my Dad’s. I could take all sorts of insults thrown at me but I will never let anyone insult my Dad.

“Dad, it’s okay. You can leave us” I said, not wanting him to witness how they were treating me.

“Are you sure?” he asked, worriedly.

I nodded confidently and he walked out of the room but not before flashing a warning look to Daniel’s parents. For a moment, none of us spoke or move as we just stared at each other. Daniel’s mom started sobbing quietly before bursting into tears. She ran towards me and I shut my eyes, preparing for her to possibly kill me. I felt her holding me and it took me a moment to realize that she was actually hugging me.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” she wept, brokenheartedly.

“Aunty…what happened?” I asked after recovering from the shock.

“We shouldn’t have treated you the way we did. We were too selfish. We thought that we were protecting our son but we only ended up hurting him” she sobbed. 

“I…I…don’t understand” I said, confused.

“Krystal, Daniel never cheated on you. In fact, we were the ones who cheated on you” his Dad explained.

“But I saw him! He was going to marry her!” I cried, surprised.

“He only agreed to marry Selena because he thought that your life was in danger. We…we….told him that if he doesn’t go on with the wedding, we will hurt you. We had planned the whole thing without him knowing” his Dad admitted, looking really embarrassed.

“And he actually believed you?” I asked, in disbelief.

“He panicked when he couldn’t get hold of you on the phone. He knew how attached you were with your phone and immediately thought something was wrong when you didn’t pick up” his Dad clarified.

Daniel knew that no matter where I am, I would always be fiddling with my phone and holding it close to me. Sometimes, he would jokingly tell me that he’s jealous of my phone because I’m closer to it than him. I then recalled back that I had left my phone home in a hurry when Jason, Daniel’s brother came to break my heart with the news. I even left the house without any shoes and I would have been barefooted if Jason had not taken my shoes for me.

I was too shocked for words. I never once expected Daniel’s parents to resort to such tactics and for Daniel to believe they might actually hurt me, scared me even more. They must have been really desperate to get me out from the picture. At that moment, I just felt numb. I couldn't feel any hatred or anger towards them. I couldn't sympathize with them either. 

“I want to see him” I said, softly.

They helped me to his room and we bumped into Jason and Selena. Jason started explaining and apologizing but I cut him short. I flashed him a small smile to show that I already knew what was going on. He turned crimson red in embarrassment while Selena just stood there, her face turning as pale as the hospital’s bed sheets. Watching the two of them together, I suddenly understand why Jason did what he did. He has always been supportive of our relationship but we also know that he has had the longest crush on Selena and would do almost anything to keep her happy.

They excused themselves and left me alone in the room with Daniel. I found out that he wasn’t seriously injured and that he will recover fully in a few weeks’ time. He was still asleep and despite the huge gauze that was wrapped around his head, he still look like an angel. I held his hand in mine and before I could stop myself, I started crying uncontrollably as he stirred from his sleep. Even his condition was worst than mine, as always he still put me first before himself.

“Krystal, are you okay?” he asked worriedly.

“I’m so sorry for not trusting you. I’m so sorry for running away. I’m….” I started to apologize but he cut me off halfway.

“You’re sorry that you fell for my parents’ scheme. You’re sorry that I was involved in the accident while chasing you. You’re sorry that I’m hurt…Hmm…Anything else?” he teased, smiling.

"I'm serious here" I said, not in the mood for any jokes. 

"I don't understand why everyone keeps on apologizing today. Did you all catch the sorry bug? First my parents, then Jason and Selene and now, you. Okay, fine I can understand the others but you...you, Krystal have done nothing wrong. In fact, I should be the one apologizing for putting you through this" he sighed.

"Fine, I've done nothing wrong except to love you" I replied, planting a kiss on his cheeks. 

"Hey! I thought you wanted to be serious!" he teased, with a cheeky smile. 

“Does it hurt?" I asked, ignoring his comment as I trace my fingers around the white gauze that was wrapped around his head. 

“It doesn’t hurt as much as the thought of losing you, Krystal” he replied sincerely.

I smiled through my tears and we hugged each other tightly. I said a silent prayer of thanks in my heart and made a promise to myself that I will never doubt Daniel again. Our eyes met as he pushed a strand of my hair away from my face before his lips met mine. I know that I must be hallucinating butI swear I saw fireworks lighting up in the room. 

"Loving you is the best thing that has ever happen to me” we both said, in unison.

Rhythm Of My Soul - Chapter 12 (Finale)

Without him, I have no reason to smile.

Without him, I have no reason to cry.

Without him, I have no reason to love.

Without him, I have no reason to breathe.

I never thought that I could find another reason to be happy, let alone to live again. Losing him was the hardest thing that I had ever had to go through because he meant the world to me. Fate was cruel for taking him away but perhaps, it was all part of His plan. I needed to learn to love myself and to allow other people to love me If I had not lost him, I would never learn the true power of love neither will I ever know that I could love someone else as much as I had loved him, or maybe even more.

A tear rolled down my cheeks as I put some flowers on his grave. I still miss him but at the same time, I knew that it was time to move on. I tried to live my life by keeping the memories that he had given to me close to my heart. Eventhough I could no longer see or hear him, I knew that he is always there looking after me. I no longer led my life in self-pity and guilt because I finally understood that it wasn't my fault. Like every other person, I too deserve to be happy.

I smiled warmly as I look up to the person standing beside me. My hand slipped into his as we walked back to the car together. Once in the car, my thoughts drifted back to the day of the accident again.

*Flashback Starts*

I didn't know how long I was on the floor, crying before someone decided to take hold of me and guided me to David's side. I cradled him in my arms, there was blood on my hands and face but I didn't care. I just wanted him to be okay. I just wanted him to open his eyes and smile at me. I want him to tell me that everything is okay.

"Please don't leave me. You promised me! " I cried, rocking him in my arms.

No response.

"I'm so sorry, David. Please, just wake up. I'll do anything" I sobbed, hysterically.

No response.

"It's Valentine's Day. Please, not now. Not today. Not ever. I just can't.....can't go on without you" I screamed in pain.

"I'm not deaf, you know"

I jumped a little when I heard his voice. I thought I was hallucinating because when I look down at him, his eyes were still tightly shut. I looked around but no one else seemed to have heard what I have heard. I am seriously losing my mind. But then, I heard it again.

"You're not hallucinating, Chelsea. I said that I'm not deaf. You don't have to scream" he repeated and this time, I could see that he was slowly opening his eyes.

"David! You're....you're alive!" I cried in shock as everyone else gasps around us.

"Of course, I didn't forget my promise" he replied, weakly.

"How are you feeling? Where are you hurt?" I asked, urgently.

"It's just my arm. I think I might have fractured it" he replied.

But I knew it wasn't just his arm. Surely, a fractured arm could not have caused so much blood. I was worried sick but I didn't want him to panic. I kept looking towards the road but until now there's no sign of the ambulance. I was so afraid that I would lose him again. With the time ticking away, it could only mean one thing, that he was losing more blood.

"Hold on, David. The ambulance is on it's way" I whispered, hugging him tight.

"The ambulance? I don't think that is necessary" he said, struggling to sit up.

"I know you're afraid of the hospital but please....." I begged.

"No, I'm really okay! It's just my arm" he insisted.

Everyone gasped in surprise when David not only managed to sit up but he managed to stand up as well. Just a minute ago, everyone thought that he was going to dead for sure. No one could grasp what really just happen. They were witnessing a miracle happening right in front of their eyes.

David laughed and quickly explain what really happened. He had managed to roll himself under the car just in time. In that process, he must have fractured his arm and fainted from shock. But other than that, he is perfectly fine. In order to prove his point, he started jumping and dancing around. I followed him, afraid that he might collapsed at any time. But he did not.

"But the blood...." I started to stammer.

"I...I got some paint but they're not red, are they? You see, I'm colour blind so they all look the same to me" the old lady asked in a small voice.

I don't know why but suddenly, I started laughing and everyone else joined in. Everything has happened so quickly that no one realized that the blood on the road were all just red paint. I was so relieved that suddenly, tears started forming in my eyes again. But this time it is different, they were happy tears.

"Young man, thank you very much for saving my life" the old lady thanked him as everyone else erupted into an applause.

"You're most welcome. I'm glad that you're okay" he said, smiling.

"But the curse...." I suddenly remembered.

"Can't you see, Chelsea? There was no curse, there never has been one before" he assured her.

"Please, don't ever do that to me again. You scared me half to death" I said, trying to stop myself from crying but I failed miserably.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily. I'm sorry to scare you like that" he quickly apologized and hugged me.

"This is one Valentine that neither of us can forget" I said, snuggling closer to him.

"And I'm going to make it even more memorable! Look, there's paint on your face!" he said, laughing as he wipe his red hands on both my cheeks.

"Why...you..." I cried as I chased him around.

It was hard to believe that just a few minutes ago, one was crying while the other was on the brink of death.

*Flashback Ends*

"Why are you laughing for no reason?" he asked, bringing me back to the present day.

David. My David.

Sometimes I still can't believe that he's mine.

"You were thinking of Shawn, weren't you? You always have this faraway look whenever we visit his grave" David said.

"Actually, I was thinking of you" I admitted, with a smile.

"About the accident again? Chelsea, you have to let this go" he advised me.

Although it has been quite some time since the accident, it still haunts me. It still send chills down my body whenever I thought about how close I was to losing him. Subconciously, I was becoming more and more protective of David. I don't think I could ever go through hat I went through that day again.

David stopped the car by the roadside and turned to face me. I knew that his heart broke to see me in this state because he once told me that it felt as if I am living through my days in fear. I'm not going to deny that it did affect our relationship but David stayed strong for the both of us. I quickly turned away to hide my tears and worries from him.

"Can you hear that?" David asked, softly.

"Hear what?" I asked, curiously, looking at him.

"This" David said, putting my head to his chest.

Thum. Thum. Thum.

"Your heart beat?" I questioned him.

"Yes. That's the rhythm of my soul. You're the one who gave me that rhythm and right now, it's playing just for you" David explained.

" David.." I started to say but was cut off when he took my hand instead and put it on his heart.

Thum. Thum. Thum.

"Can you feel that? It beats solely for you and it'll never stop beating unless you want it to. What happened was just an accident but what matters now is that I'm right here beside of you. Don't you think we should treasure our time together instead of worrying what might happen in the future?" he continued.

"I'm so sorry" I whispered softly.

"Don't be. Please don't cry, Chelsea. We'll go through this together. Our love will help us through. I love you and it tears me apart just to see you cry" David further explained. "Don't you want the rhythm of my soul to play a happy melody? Because right now I think it's playing some kind of a funeral song"

"David! What are you talking about?" I asked and giggled through my tears.

"Well, you're crying! You have to smile so that the rhythm of my soul will play me a happy melody!" teased David, with a wink.

I tried to smile but instead I broke down into laughter. David leaned closer and pulled me close into his embrace. We were both glowing with love and happiness as I finally let go of my fear. I thought that I had everything under control but yet again, I was wrong. I realized that all this time I wasn't only hurting myself but David too.

"Now the rhythm of my soul is playing one happy bouncy song! said David with a smile.

"Sarang heyo, David" I said before leaning over to kiss him.

"What? Just friends?" he asked confused, as he pulls away.

"It means I Love You. I know, David" I replied, with a smile.

"Wow! That took you a long time! I didn't know...you're...well, not that smart!" he said, with a laugh.

"Hey! Told you I'm bad with languages!" I retorted.

"Just kidding. I love you twice as much!" he replied, as he kissed me back.

Curse or no curse,

He is mine

And I'm never letting him go again

For he is the rhythm of my soul.

Rhythm Of My Soul - Chapter 11

Today, February the 14th marks a very special day in our relationship because it is our first Valentine together. Being with David is very much like being on Cloud 9, on top of everyone and everything else. I'm no longer walking on Earth but rather I was floating. I am so happy everyday that at times, I wondered if this was just all a dream.

I really never thought that I would love someone so much again. I feel blessed each time I'm in his embrace but there is always this tiny voice inside of my head that is telling me that I may lose him. I've grown more protective over him which sometimes makes him upset but I just couldn't help it. Perhaps, I feel guilty for not being there when he was sick and I'm slowly making it up for it.

I've forgotten how many times I've changed before deciding to wear the baby pink dress for our Valentine date. I was so excited and nervous, just as I've been for every single date with him. It was weird, usually the butterflies in my stomach would disappear after the second or third date but when I'm with David, every date was like my first date. It's just like when I thought that I've loved him with all my heart, I found myself loving him more with each day.

Just then the door bell rang, interrupting my thoughts. I took a deep breath and rushed to the door. I invited him and gave him a kiss lightly on his cheek. David looked so handsome in his black coat and cute little bow tie. He handed me a bunch of flowers and a small present, while pestering to open my present quickly. I could only laugh at his eagerness. He wanted to know if I like what was inside the box.

I was delighted to find a beautiful heart shaped locket with our pictures in it. He turned me around and fasten it around my neck. Suddenly, I was reluctant to give him his present because I was afraid that he wouldn't like it. What I once thought was the best gift for him suddenly became so lame. However, it was already too late. He has already seen the box in my hand. I had no choice but to hand it to him, praying that he would somehow like it.

"Wait, can you open it when you're home?" I asked, softly.

"Why can't I open it now?" he asked, disappointed.

"Because I don't want to see you cry" I said, laughing.

"Wow! What is it that is in this box that can make me cry?" he asked, curiously.

"You would know when you open it" I said, mysteriously.

"Fine. So are you ready?" he asked, sticking his arm out.

"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!" I sighed as I held his arm.

"There goes the pig again! Now wonder you're dressed in pink today" he teased, laughing.

"Hey! I sure wish Charlene is here today!" I said, with a pout.

"Too bad! She's too busy with her boyfriend to annoy me" he replied.

"You wait. Char and I are sure to murderlise you one day!" I said, with an evil laugh.

Charlene and I became fast friend and we always gang up together to go against David, much to his dismay. The two of them can hardly let a day go by without them getting on each other's throats. They quarrel over everything and sometimes, over nothing at all! Still, I know that they will always help each other in a heartbeat if either of them is in trouble. Like Charlene always put it, they quarrel just to show how much they love each other.

David took me to the most romantic restaurant by the beach. We had our dinner under a sky full of stars while listening to the waves gently splashing around us. I couldn't have been happier. He really made me feel as if I'm the luckiest girl on Earth. We chatted all night, reminiscing both the good and the bad times together.

After dinner, David and I went down to the beach. I secretly wonder if I was once a mermaid in my past life because of my obsession over beaches. David laughed hard when I told him about that. We snuggled closer to each other as David wrapped a blanket around us. For a while, no words were exchanged between us but it was the most comfortable silence ever. I find myself wishing that the night would never end.

"Look! A shooting star!" I cried excitedly when I saw the shooting star.

However, David was already closing his eyes making a wish. I quickly did the same. When I opened my eyes, David was staring at me which immediately made me blush. It reminded me of a scene in one of the dramas that I've recently watched. I knew what was going to happen next. I slowly closed my eyes and waited for his lips to touch mine. But instead, I heard him giggle before breaking out in laughter.

"There are sand all over your face!" he said.

I blushed and wondered why did I always have to embarrass myself. I always have to think that whenever David is leaning towards me, he would be after my lips. It's not like I have Angelina Jolie's kissable lips or that I have a sign plastered on my lips that reads 'Kiss Me!'. Okay, Chelsea....I'm seriously losing my mind, yet again.

However, lost in my own mental debate, I was brought back to reality when I suddenly felt a finger brushed across my cheek. I opened my eyes.....but wait, was I closing my eyes all this time? Great, now David must think I'm a complete psycho! He gently wiped away the sand and leaned closer. Before I could stop my heart from jumping out from my throat, his lips was on mine.

And....I didn't want it to end.

"I know that you didn't want the kiss to end but we still need oxygen to survive, right?" David teased.

How in the world did he know what I was thinking?

"So, what did you wish for?" he asked, smiling sweetly.

"That we'll always be together. Great, now look what you've done!" I cried, horrified.

"What?" he asked, surprised.

"I've said out my wish and now it won't come true!" I grumbled.

"That's silly. We'll always be together because we love each other. Chelsea, Happy Valentine's Day" he whispered, holding me close.

"Same to you too" I whispered.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Everything started great that day but I've forgotten when did things started to go downhill.

Was it when the wind blew away my blue beaded scarf?

Was it when she told him her wish because everyone knows that wishes don't come true once you say it out?

Was it when David's car broke down?

Was it when both our cellphones were out of battery?

Was it when there are no taxis spotted eventhough on normal days, there will be a lot of them?

"Why the long face, Chelsea?" David asked, just as we reach my front door.

"I have a really bad feeling about this" I admitted, finally.

"That's the problem with you, Chelsea! You're always thinking of the negative! Why don't you think of it this way? God gave us flat tires so we can have more time together? We could have reach your place in minutes but see how long it took us to walk" he said, in a comforting voice.

"I don't want you to go alone" I said, softly.

"The taxi stand is just around the corner. Are you afraid that a drop dead gorgeous woman might appear from nowhere and kidnap me or you just can stand a second without me by your side?" he joked.

"Let me go with you" I insisted, barely cracking a smile.

"Chelsea, don't be silly. I'll be okay. I'll call you the minute I reach home, okay?" he promised.

"Okay" I replied, reluctantly.

"Love you" he whispered, as he kissed me goodnight.

I watch him walk away but I still could not shake that terrible feeling away. Somehow, the feeling was very familiar. My heart suddenly stopped beating when I remembered that I too, had the exact same feeling just before Shawn told me that he is suffering from cancer. Yes, it was that sinking feeling. It was as if something really bad was going to happen.

Without wasting another minute, I ran to the direction that David was heading. Just at that time, I heard a loud bang just ahead and someone was screaming and crying. I took off my heels and ran as fast as I could, all the time praying that David is safe.

There was an accident involving a van but I could not see another vehicle. That was when I realize that the car has hit someone and the victim is still stuck underneath the car. From what she gathered from the people around, a young man has rushed out to save an old lady from being hit by the car. Unfortunately, he, himself did not have enough time to avoid the car. The old lady was by the road, crying hysterically for help.

And then, I saw something that confirmed my worst fear.

There by the roadside was the present that I've given him.

The box has been shredded to pieces.

And there were papers flying everywhere.

They were my gift to him.

The letters that I wrote to him.

The letters that I've never sent out.

I felt my world fell apart right before eyes. I watched in horror as two men pulled out David from underneath the car. His white shirt is now stained with some sort of red liquid......could it be his blood? I realized that they were everywhere....I've not seen so much... blood before. I felt my knees gave way and I collapsed on the floor, tears rushing down my cheeks. I watched as they carried his lifeless body away from the car. The driver quickly called for help and I could see that his fingers were shaking as he dialled the emergency number.

I was crying so much that a few ladies have gathered around and tried to console me but I couldn't hear a word that they were saying. I wanted to scream his name but I could not find my voice. I wanted to be by his side but I was paralyzed from waist down, or at least, it felt like that. I just couldn't move or function anymore.

I wish that I would wake up from this nightmare soon.

I am cursed.

Cursed.

Cursed.

Cursed.

Rhythm Of My Soul - Chapter 10

I kept on running and without realizing, I've reached our favourite hide out. The place brought back even more painful memories. This was where we first meet and this was where we spend most of our time together. I heard footsteps coming my way and I quickly wiped away my tears, not wanting him to see the pain that I was going through. I turned back, expecting it to be David but instead I come face to face with Charlene.

"Wow! You sure run very fast! I nearly lost you there" she said, half gasping for air.

"Why did you come after me?" I asked, confused.

"Because I knew that you were crying. You love David, don't you?" she asked.

I was speechless. I mean, how do you tell the girlfriend that you're in love with her boyfriend? Looking at Charlene now, I realized that I may not even have the right to love David in the first place. She is everything that I'm not and she is the one that deserves to be with David. He is, after all, way out of my league. I used to worry that I was only feeling the way I did for David because I see him as a replacement for Shawn. The truth was, it was the other way around. I was Charlene's replacement.

"It's okay, you can tell me the truth. I promise I won't kill you" she said, with a giggle.

"Yes" I finally admitted.

"Good, because he feels the same way for you too" she replied, with a smile.

"Huh?" I asked, thinking that Charlene was joking.

"I believe I haven't formally introduced myself yet. My name is Char..." she started to say.

"I know that David is your boyfriend. I'm sorry, Charlene. I won't come in between you two, I promise. I will forget him" I quickly say.

"I'm Charlene Chen. And if you dare to forget my brother, I'll be dead. He'll kill me for sure" she said, laughing.

"You're...you're..." I couldn't even finish my sentence.

"Yes, I'm her sister. The one he left behind in Canada? I hope he has told you about me before? If not, he'll be dead" she replied, with a wink.

His sister. Yes, now everything has come back to place. David has once told me about having a younger sister. She had to stay back in Canada to finish her last school year before she could come over to join the rest of the family. He has always wanted me to meet her and now I know why he doted on his sister. She was just as playful and cheeky as him. Her name was....yes, it was Charlene! I can't believe that I have totally forgot about his sister until now.

"I'm really sorry for pulling this prank on you. You don't know how much my ears hurt, listening to David. He just goes on and on about you. I've never seen him so obsessed over a girl before! I just needed to make sure whether you were feeling the same way too and whether it was all worth it. I don't want my brother to get hurt" she explained.

"Thanks, Charlene. For reminding me how lucky I am to have him" I said, smiling.

"Just make sure that you're serious with this relationship and don't end up hurting him. I will come after you" Charlene warned, protectively.

If I hadn't known, I would have thought that Charlene is David's older sister instead of his younger sister.

"I will do everything I can to keep him happy" I promised, smiling at Charlene's over protectiveness over her brother.

"Yayy! Now I have an extra person to bully David!" she cheered, happily.

"Yes. I'm glad that I have you on my side as well" I replied, laughing.

"But I really have to thank you. If it weren't for you, we would have lost him for good" she said, suddenly serious.

"What do you mean?" I asked, curiously.

"What? He didn't tell you? David is...." Charlene was cut off before she could finish her sentence.

"Charlene, that's enough!" David said, coming out from behind the tree.

I blushed crimson red when I see the sight of him. He must have heard our conversation and know of my true feelings for him. After much persuasion by David, Charlene finally left the two of them alone. It was really funny watching the two siblings fight. It was just a few seconds ago that Charlene was being so over protective of David. Before Charlene left, she adviced David to tell me whatever that he was hiding from me. However, silence engulfed us right after Charlene left.

"David, I...."

"Chelsea, I..."

We both started to speak at the exact same time.

"Ladies first" he said, smiling.

"I love you" was all I could say.

"I love you too" he replied.

I have planned over and over again of the things I would say to him when I finally see him.

I wanted to tell him how much I love him.

I wanted to tell him how much he means to me.

I wanted to tell him how happy he makes me.

I wanted to tell him how sorry I was for pushing him away.

I wanted to tell him how much I needed him to be with me.

But I couldn't find the words to tell him. All I know is that I'm deeply and madly in love with the man that is sitting in front of me now. I suddenly realize that there was no need for us to exchange too many words. David already know what I had wanted to say. I don't know how but I just know he knows because I already knew what he had wanted to say.

He leaned closer to me and for the first time, our lips touched. The kiss was so sweet and magical, I've lost count of how many somersaults my heart did. We hugged each other tight, as if we were afraid to let go of each other. Without realizing it, there were tears streaming down my cheeks. They were happy tears. David leaned closer and gently kissed my tears away. I am, no doubt, the luckiest girl on earth.

"What was Charlene trying to tell me just now?" I asked, suddenly remembering.

"When I told you that I might not be coming back for good, that was true. I was sick, Chelsea. I was very sick" he explained softly.

"Sick? How are you now? What is wrong with you?" I asked, nearly going hysterical worrying about him.

"The reason I went back to Canada was to get a heart transplant. The doctor only gave me 50-50 chance of survival. You didn't hear from me for months not because I've forgotten about you but it was because I was too sick to even pick up the phone" he went on.

"What? Heart transplant? How could that be possible? None of these are making sense! You never looked sick!" I cried, angry at myself for not noticing it.

"That's because I've gotten so good from hiding the pain from everyone else. It isn't that bad, really. Just as long as I have pills with me, I will be okay. I didn't want people to treat me as a sick person. I just want to fit in. I'm sorry for lying to you, Chelsea" he apologized.

"So those pills weren't your vitamin pills?" I asked, referring to the pills that he always had to take when we're out.


He nodded.

"And when you were gasping for breath, you weren't being dramatic?" I asked, remembering the times I would tease him because he always get tired so easily.

He nodded again.

I suddenly have flashbacks of the time we spent together and realized that there were hints that he was sick. I was just too ignorant to notice it. He was always so tired and would be gasping for breath after doing simple things such as climbing a flight of stairs. Of course, he always tried to cover it by turning it into a joke. He must have been in so much pain and yet he acted as if nothing was wrong just so that he wouldn't worry me. It must have been so hard on him then.

"Chelsea, please don't cry. I'm so sorry for lying to you" he said, worriedly.

Wait, I was crying? I touched my face and realized that my cheeks were stained with tears. I didn't even realize that I was crying. I quickly wiped my tears away and took his hand into mine. I suddenly realize how lucky I am to still have him by my side. I was this close to losing him, for good.

"It's not your fault, David. I'm sorry for being so ignorant. I'm sorry for not knowing that you were sick. Now that I think back, there were so many signs and yet, I chose to ignore them" I sobbed, guiltily.

"Chelsea, you could not have known because I was the one who didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to worry and most of all, I didn't want you to treat me differently" David explained.

"How are you now? How did the operation go? Are you sure you're okay to be out and about? Shouldn't you be in bed, resting?" I asked, worriedly.

"See? That's why I didn't want to tell you" he replied, laughing.

"I just don't want to lose you, David. I don't think I can go through the pain of losing someone I love....again" I whispered softly.

"I'm sorry for putting you through this. I know I was selfish. To know that I was sick and yet I still continue loving you. But now, I won't go anywhere. The operation was successful, Chelsea. What Charlene said was the truth. I fought hard to come back to you. I'm going to be okay now" he promised me.

"I'm glad that you were selfish enough to love me. I love you, David. I love you so much. Don't ever leave me" I said, hugging him tightly.

"Can you guys even breathe?" a voice asked from behind.

"Charlene! What are you still doing here?" cried David, breaking away from our embrace.

"Well, I just thought I would stay for the ending. After all, I started it" said Charlene, sticking out her tongue playfully.

"Why you...." started David but was cut off.

"You know what song is perfect for this moment?" Charlene asked.

"What?" both David and I ask at the same time.

"Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat!" she screamed happily, which is also coincidently our favourite song.

"Do you hear me,
Talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying"

David started singing as Charlene and I collapsed in fits of laughter. Then he started nudging me to continue but I refused. This was so embarassing especially when I know I can't even sing a tune in place.

"Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea"

Charlene started to sing and begged me to continue. I'm guessing the two of them must have watched too much Mamma Mia movies. Don't get me wrong, I love the movie, Mamma Mia. In fact, to me, it is the best movie of 2008. I finally gave in when I saw those two faces. Both David and Charlene were looking at me with those big helpless puppy eyes. I know I couldn't refuse them any longer.

"Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard"

I started singing, or rather croaking but David and Charlene didn't seem to mind. We then launch into the chorus part together. I felt as if we were in one of the scenes from Mamma Mia. We were literally singing with our hearts, pouring our love out for each other through a song. I always loved watching musicals but I never once thought that I will be in one as well!

"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh"

I've forgot the last time where I have had so much fun and laughter in my life. We continued singing the song on top of our voices, without a care in the world. I snuggled closer to David as he wrapped his arms around me. I am certainly blessed to have David by my side and for some reason, I knew that Shawn was smiling down on us.

Yes, I am that lucky and no longer cursed.

"They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbyeI wish we had one more
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

Lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh"

Rhythm Of My Soul - Chapter 9

I emailed him but he never replied

I wrote to him but he never wrote back

I called him but his line was always busy

I waited for him in MSN but he never came online

It's been nearly 2 months since David left for Canada and I've not heard from him since. It's as if he just disappeared from the face of the Earth. I was worried and upset, all at the same time. I had so many questions running through my head and I know that only David can give me the answers. I read the letter he left me over and over again, each time, trying to decipher if there's a hidden message from him. He was the one who didn't wanted us to be strangers and yet he's the one who's ignoring me.

Did I do something wrong?

Does he still need more time?

I still haven't told him how I really felt about him because I wanted to tell him personally and not through letters and emails but he didn't even give me a chance. If I could afford it, I would have probably booked the first flight to Canada to see him. I actually hated him for leaving me like this. He left so sudden without any explanation or whatsoever. I spent the first month drowning in self pity and regret. I cried myself to sleep almost every night.

I had wanted to do something for David and I knew that he had always wanted me to play the piano so without even thinking twice, I signed my name up for the Talent Show. Now, I'm beginning to really regret this decision. This would be the first time I'll be playing in public and one of my biggest phobia is to be on stage with everyone staring at me. I think I might just might black out and embarrass myself when the day finally come.

What have I gotten myself into?

It's not as if David is here to watch me perform anyway!

However, in a way, the Talent Show has helped me a lot in coping with the loss of David. I've spent most of my time practising the piano instead of thinking of him and waiting for him to reply my letters, mails and phone calls. Although I'm no longer the Ice Queen, I still found it hard to get along with other people in the college. None of them were really interested in becoming my friends. I don't blame them anyway because I have not make any efforts to become their friend when they tried to befriend me in the past. It has always been David and Chelsea. I never thought I needed anyone else...until now.

It's 3 more days to the Talent Show and I stared at my cellphone, debating with myself for the hundredth time whether or not to call David. I really wanted him to come to the show but I was afraid that I would only be disappointed. He has never once replied any of my letters or emails and neither has he called me back. I don't know if our friendship can be saved anymore. I took out the blue box from under the bed. It was supposed to be filled with memories of David and I but it was not meant to be. Instead, it was filled with letters that I've written to David every single day. Yes, I've stopped sending those letters to David after my third letter remained unreplied.

Perhaps, one day I'll be able to pass him this box

To let him know how much I miss him

To let him know how lost I am without him

To let him know know how much I truly love him

My feelings for him still stays the same but I'm not sure if he still feels the same way too. Perhaps, everything is too late now. I don't have anyone to blame but myself because I was the one who pushed him away. With my fingers slightly shaking, I dialled the number that I've remembered by heart. But, before I could do so, my phone rang. I checked my caller ID and it was him. David. I had so much to say to them but at that time, my mind went completely blank.

"Hey Chelsea" he greeted me.

"You still remember my name?" I snapped, trying to keep myself together.

"I'm sorry for not returning your calls and letters. Things have just been crazy over here" he tried to explain.

"Don't you know how worried I was over here? It's like you've disappeared from the face of the Earth! You were the one who asked me not to become a stranger but you've not make any efforts to salvage our friendship either! I called, I wrote, I e-mailed but I never once got any replies from you! I hate you for doing this to me! Do you think you can just come and go as you like?" I cried, upset.

"I'm sorry. I'm making the effort now and I hope that it's not too late. Forgive me, Chelsea. You know I would never do anything to hurt you" he pleaded in a child like voice.

"What it is that was so important that you couldn't even call me to let me know that you're okay?" I demanded to know.

"I can't tell you because it's really complicated. I'll tell you when I'm ready okay? You're the first person I've called and I've replied all your letters. I just haven't send them yet. Trust me, Chelsea. I would have called you earlier if I could" he promised.

"I thought you've forgotten about me or that you're purposely avoiding me" I said, softly.

"How could I ever forget or avoid my best friend?" he asked back.

"David, did something bad happen? Why did the entire family moved back to Canada on such a short notice? You even took Shawn's mom along! I thought the reason that both you and your mom moved here was because of Shawn's mom. What happened?" I questioned him.

"Chelsea, will you please relax? How do you expect me to answer all your questions at once?" he asked back.

"Well, I definately do not expect you to answer my questions with more questions!" I said, frustrated.
"We'll talk about this when the time is right" he promised.

"But when is the right time?" I demanded to know.

"Soon, Chelsea. Soon" David promised me.

"I miss you" I whispered sadly.

"Me too. Look, I really have to go now. I'll call you back soon. Bye, Chelsea" he said.

Before I could even say anything, the line went dead. I tried calling him back but again his line was busy. It seemed as if he has switched off his cellphone. I held on to the phone, the busy tone getting louder in my ear. I am again back at square one, where I started. I didn't get the chance to tell him how I really feel about him. He had ended the conversation so abruptly that I had to pinch myself to make sure that it wasn't all just a dream. Sometimes, my overactive imagination can play tricks on my mind! But I wasn't dreaming. David did call and instead of answering my questions, he has left me with more questions now.

Why did he sound so mysterious?

Why did he sound so secretive?

What was he trying to hide?

"David, do you think you can come and watch me play on the Talent Show this weekend?" I asked although I know that he could no longer hear.

"And one more thing, I love you. I always have"

I buried my face in my pillow and cried myself to sleep that night.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In a blink of an eye, it is Saturday, time for the Talent Show. I had butterflies in my stomach and my fingers were all shaking like a leaf. I peeked from the curtain at the backstage and was overwhelmed by the response of the crowd. It seemed as if the entire world was here tonight and not just the students! I searched among the sea of crowd for a familiar face.

David's face.

"We now present you with Chelsea and her piano!"

The whole hall erupted with applause as I made my way to the center stage. I sat in front of the piano and took a deep breath as I put my shaky fingers on the piano keys. The entire hall became so quiet that I wondered if they heard my heart beat that was beating so fast that I thought it might jump out of my throat at any second. After a few minutes, I still couldn't calm myself down and just when I thought of running away, I heard a very familiar voice, singing.

It was him.

"Chelsea, will you please play?" he asked, smiling.

"David? What are you doing here?" I cried, surprised.

I totally forgot that the microphone was in front of me so I literally screamed into the microphone. Everyone had their hands over their ears as I quickly apologized softly. I was really happy to see David here but at the same time, I was shocked and confused. I wanted explanation but suddenly the whole hall started cheering my name, thanks to David.

"I think Chelsea here needs a little encouragement. Let's all cheer for her, shall we? Chelsea! Chelsea!" he screamed enthusiastically.

"Just play the song that you played for me the other day. You can do it" he whispered into my ear.

Suddenly, I felt myself becoming braver and more confident. I took a deep breath and started playing the song that I've been practising for months. Yes, even if David did not ask me, I would have played the very same song. It was the song that I've written especially for him.

As the sun slowly creeps away
And darkness fills the earth
I gaze my eyes upon the sky
The stars shining ever so brightly
I know that someone is watching over me

*Chorus*
You know my heart
You know my thoughts
You know my every fear
You know my every sorrow
For you are.....
You are the rhythm of my soul

You see me through and through
Through the mask I put on
Through the wall I build
You know me more than I know myself
And I know you more than you know yourself

(Repeat Chorus)

I love you with all my heart
I always have
I always will
You may never feel the same way
But you can never stop me from loving you

(Repeat Chorus)

I will be your friend
If that's what you want
I won't ask for more
Just let me stay by your side
Just as long as you're happy, I will be too

(Repeat Chorus)

When I finished playing, I had tears in my eyes because I was deeply touched. I just couldn't believe it. I felt as if I was in a dream because everything seemed so perfect. Suddenly, I did not see the crowd. The hall was empty and the only person that was there with me was David. I had not expected David to write beautiful lyrics to fit into the song that I was playing. I've only played to him once but he had remembered every tune to the song.

And his voice.....trust me, I'm not being dramatic here but it sounded...angelic? Fine, so I've never heard angels sing before but it seemed like it's the most appropriate word to use. He was really good, in fact even better than some of the singers nowadays. It was perfect. Yes, that's the word. Perfect.

The hall erupted into cheers and applaud as he led me to the center on the stage and we gave our thank you bows together. I let him led me around as if I'm a puppet because I just couldn't take my eyes off him.

"David....What? How? Why? When?" I fumbled with my words, once we're backstage.

"Calm down, Chelsea. You look as if you're about to faint from shock at any time" he said, laughing.

"How come you're here? And that song? How did you know?" I asked.

"Chelsea, I wanted to give you a surprise. I've known for quite some time that you joined this competition from my friends and I just wanted to show you some support. You've written that song for me and I decided to add my own lyrics for you in return. Sorry that you have to share your limelight with me" he explained.

"David, I'm just so glad that you're back. If you hadn't come, I would have probably died from stage fright. Thank you for everything" I sighed, hugging him tight.

"I miss you. I'm sorry for not keeping in touch with you these two months and making you worried. But I'm really happy that you're still worried about me " he whispered, into my ears.

"What are you talking about? Of course, I'm worried about you! You're my..." I started to say but was cut off.

"I know, you're best friend" he finished it for me.

"Well, David about that....there's something I want to tell you. I......." Again, I didn't get to finish what I say.

"You can tell me later. Right now, I have someone special that I really want you to meet. Wait for me here, okay?" he said and left before I can stop him.

"But David, I wanted to tell you that I want to be more than your best friend. I wanted to tell you how much I love you" I sighed, sadly to myself.

I waited for him and just when I was about to call a search party for him, I spotted him among the crowd. I was so afraid that he would suddenly disappear again. However, the smile started to disappear from my face when I saw him coming hand in hand with another girl, around ourage or maybe younger. They looked very close together and I felt myself turning green with envy. And I hate the colour green!

"I would like you to meet Charlene. She's my....." David introduced.

"Girlfriend. You must be Chelsea" Charlene finished his sentence for him.

"Hi" I said, swallowing a lump in my throat.

"Charlene! What are you doing?" David shrieked, slightly embarassed.

"Oh, darling. You don't have to be shy. We can't hide this from everyone" she said, giggling.

"How long have you two been together?" I forced myself to ask.

"Forever, from the day we were born! The only time that we were separated was when he moved here. But that problem has been solved because I'm moving in with him!" she said, kissing David's cheeks.

I knew I could not stand looking at them any longer.

I was afraid that I might break down into tears.

I don't know what was worst.

David lying to me about not having a girlfriend back in Canada.

Or Charlene getting all lovey dovey with David in front of me.

Or knowing, that this time, I've lost David for good.

"It's nice meeting you, Charlene. I have to go now. See you" I said, quickly excusing myself from them.

I couldn't even look at David.

I turned away from them and immediately my tears started to fall.

And then I broke into a run.

I didn't care where I was going.

I didn't look where I was going.

I just needed to get away.

Rhythm Of My Soul-Chapter 8

We haven't seen or spoken to each other since that day I broke his heart. We were like strangers now. We used to have so much to say to each other but nowadays, we don't even say hello. When we passed each other at the halls, we would just smile and walked away. I don't know if we could ever go back to the way things were between us. I still see the hurt in his eyes whenever he looks at me. He must really hate me.

I was afraid of my own feelings because I knew that everytime I open my heart to someone, he or she will be taken away from me. My parents, my grandmother and Shawn. The curse I carry is always haunting me. I didn't want to lose David but come to think of it, I've already lost him by pushing him away.

For the past few weeks, I've been trying to sort out my feelings for David. And no matter how hard I've been trying to avoid it or to convince myself otherwise, I've always came to the same conclusion. It was so wrong but it was the truth.

I'm deeply and madly in love with David.

Not having David around was hard and I realized how much I needed him by my side. It was as if I could no longer function without him. The North suddenly became South and the West suddenly became East. Once again, I'm lost. I always thought that my feelings for David was merely because he reminded me so much of Shawn but now, I realized that I was wrong. With him, I was beginning to think lesser and lesser of Shawn. Without knowing it, I was already opening my heart to let him in.

I love David for believing in me

I love David for giving me the courage

I love David for making me laugh

I love David for everything he is

But most of all,

I love David for the way he loves me

I took out the silver box from under my bed, tears streaming down my cheeks beyond my control. I carefully open the lid and run my fingers through the contents of the box. The box contained the most important memories of Shawn's love for me. There were pictures, poems, cards, letters and gifts....each and every thing in itself bears a significant meaning to our love. I've lost count of how many times I've looked through this box and yet, I was never bored of it. I could spend the entire day just looking and reminiscing of the time we once shared.

Dear Chelsea,

I can't stop thinking about you after our date last night! You looked stunning in the blue dress and yes, I notice that you were wearing the star necklace that I gave you! I know I told you to wear that necklace when you're ready to be my official girlfriend. But, I still need to hear it from you to make sure that I'm not hallucinating! Will you be my girlfriend, Chelsea?

I love you.

Always and forever.

xoxo
Shawn

Dear Chelsea,

Are you free for movies tonight? Just nod your head if it's a yes....I'm afraid Mrs Lee will catch us passing notes and send us off to Mr Four Eyes again!

I love you.

Always and forever.

xoxo
Shawn

Dear Chelsea,

Happy, happy birthday! May all your dreams, especially the one to marry me and have a dozen kids will come true! What joy it would be to have little boys who look as handsome as me and little girls who look....well, like you? Maybe we should have a dozen boys? haha Just joking! I'm sure our girls will just be as beautiful as their mummy!
I love you.

Always and forever.

xoxo
Shawn

Dear Chelsea,

Thank you for your encouragement and love. You're right, I should not give up fighting. I was wrong to push you away when you're the reason that I want to live. I will be strong for you and together, we'll fight Mr Cancer away! Nothing can tear us apart!

I love you.

Always and forever.

xoxo
Shawn

Dear Chelsea,

Thank you for being with me although I know how hard it has been on you. Although you always came in with a big smile, I know how sad you must have been inside. I heard you crying the other day in the bathroom and I felt so helpless. There was nothing I could do to make you feel better. I'm sorry for being so sick, Chelsea.

I love you.

Always and forever.

xoxo
Shawn

Dear Chelsea,

I'm sorry but I don't think I can fight Mr Cancer anymore. He's just too strong and I'm just too tired. Please be strong, my superwoman. We will meet again soon, I promise but not now. You have to live your life to the fullest and find another Superman in your life. Wait, I'm your only Superman! Guess you'll have to find Spiderman or maybe, Incredible Hulk? hahahaha Be happy always, Chelsea. I want you to be happy.

I love you.

Always and forever.

xoxo
Shawn

That was the last letter he wrote to me before he passed away. Even in his death bed, Shawn was still trying to make me laugh. That was my Shawn. There was never a dull moment when I'm with him and yes, he was truly my Superman. By reading the letter, I felt as if Shwan was right beside me. I was about to put the letter back into the box when I noticed that the end of the letter was folded to the back. I opened it carefully and was surprised to see more of Shawn's writing there.

PS* I think you and David would make a great couple! Remember, my cousin? I've told him so much about you that I think he knows you more than you know yourself. You two have a lot in common as well! Sometimes I feel as if I'm dating him when I'm with you! haha He's a great guy and hey, he happens to like Spiderman a lot! Open your heart to love again, Chelsea. You have to move on! You're not betraying me in any way because I know that I'll always be in your heart. Just keep me tuck in safely and give the rest of the spaces in your heart to David! I may be Superman but I'm not that fat to take up all the spaces of your heart, right?

PPS* The more I think of it, the happier I am! David is definately the perfect one for you! I know he will love you as much as I did or maybe even more. I am so going to be your match maker so make sure you thank me during your wedding! I'm going to bring you two together no matter what it takes! Even when I'm no longer in this world, I'll pull some strings....maybe I'll ask Cupid to shoot some arrows? haha

PPPS*Forget about the curse, only crazy old ladies would believe in things like that! You're not crazy but well, maybe you're old...but that's another story haha Now, what are you waiting for? Go get your Spiderman before he webs away! I don't want you to end up with Incredible Hulk! You know how much I hate green! Life is too short, Chelsea. Sometimes, you have to take that risk or you risk living the rest of your life in regrets.

I stared at the letter for ages.

Reading it over and over again.

Word for word.

I was shocked beyond words.

I could almost feel Shawn's presence in the room with me. That letter had answered every single doubt that was on my mind. It was as if he knew what I was thinking and wrote that letter specifically to tell me that everything is going to be okay. I guess Shawn really did kept his promise and brought us together. I still remember that David and I had become friends in front of Shawn's tomb that day. Shawn must have been there too, smiling like a three year old, like he always did when he succeeds in something. He had wanted me to be with David too. It took me a while to regain my composure but when I finally did, everything suddenly became crystal clear.

I need to be with David.

I need to tell him how I really feel.

I need to tell him that I love him.

I always have and always will.

I searched for my phone and finally found it buried under my dirty laundry. I'm been so occupied with my thoughts on David that I've forgotten to charge my battery and the phone is now dead. I quickly plug it to the charger and switched on my phone to call David. This is the time when I regretted not fixing a land line in my house. I was surprised to see that I have 33 missed calls. I checked the caller ID and they were all from the same person.

David.

My heart skipped a beat and I began to panic. Something urgent must have happened for him to call me 33 times! I frantically tried to call him back but each time, I reached his voice mail. He must have switched off his phone and that worries me. David never switched off his phone before. I called his house but no one was picking up either. Something must have gone wrong. I took my car keys and drove like a mad woman to David's house only to find that there was no one at home. I was about to leave when I noticed a pink envelope with my name on it on the doorstep.

It was from David.

Dear Chelsea,

Knowing you inside and out, I know that you would come running here when you saw my missed calls so I've left the letter here. By the time you read this letter, I guess I'll already be on the plane. I tried calling you the whole day but I couldn't get through to you. You must hate me that much to switch off your phone, huh? The reason I've been calling you is to say goodbye. I wanted to speak to you and to see you because this may be the last time. I guess Fate is cruel sometimes. I'm going back due to some unforeseen personal reasons. Honestly, I don't know if I'll ever have the chance to come back here again.

I know this is all very sudden but I had no other choice. I had to leave but do not get the silly idea that I'm leaving because of you. I'm sorry that things aren't going so well between us these past few weeks. I tried to get over this quickly but my heart still wouldn't listen to me and kept screaming out in pain. Please know that I do not hate you nor am I angry at you. I just don't know how to put things back to where they were or to pretend as if nothing has happened between us. I guess I just needed more time. This is my first time being turned down by a girl, mind you!

I hope we can still be friends but perhaps this separation is good for us in a way, or at least it is for me. It will give me the time to get over you and to accept you as my best friend again. Maybe I'll find myself someone who loves me back? That someone will have very big shoes to fill because I don't think anyone can be better or even as good as you are. In my heart, you're perfect. Are you now regretting that you've turned me down now? haha

I'm sorry for everything and I hope you can forgive me. Do keep in touch and let's not become strangers again. You already have my phone number, email and address so you'll know where to reach me. I'll miss you!

Sarang heyo, Chelsea.

Always and forever.

xoxo
David

I was at a lost for words as tears started forming in my eyes. I tried calling him but again, I reached his voice mail. I rushed to the airport, which was only 15 minutes away from his house but I was too late. The plane has took off, taking David and a part of me away. I was broken hearted. Just when I finally found my courage to love again, he left me and once again, I'm all alone.

To let go isn't about forgetting but rather it is about remembering

To let go is to accept and to have the strength to keep on moving

I was finally letting go of Shawn

I was finally ready to open up my heart again

To allow myself to love and to be loved again.

To allow my once broken heart to heal and mend again.

But everything is too late now.

Rhythm Of My Soul- Chapter 7

Although I've never told anyone before, I was afraid of the hospitals too. Yes, I've developed all sorts of phobias after Shawn left me. Before that, I was never afraid of anything because I knew that he would always be there to protect me. The hospital brought back so many bad memories. To me, once you go into a hospital, you would never come out again.

This is where I saw Shawn getting sicker and sicker each day.

This is where I saw Shawn going through so much pain and suffering.

This is where I said goodbye to Shawn as he took his last breath.

I vowed never to return again to this place and yet, I did because of David. With him around, I've become stronger and braver. In fact, all that didn't even occured to me at that time. I was so worried about David that I didn't worry about anything else. I just wanted him to get well. It was only after he was admitted that I was started to have all these bad thoughts. But again, he proved me wrong when I watch him getting better and better each day. He was enthusiastic when the doctors finally discharged him on Friday.

"Finally! I'm free!" he squealed happily, like a little kid.

"You speak as if this is a prison!" I commented.

"It is! I'm so glad I've finally break out from that prison!" he cried.

"You think you're Michael Scofield from Prison Break? You're in the VIP ward with air conditioner and a big comfortable bed. You even have people fussing over you around the clock....you should be happy!" I teased him.

"The only thing I'm happy about is to have you fussing over me. That makes me the happiest man on earth, you know" he replied, laughing.

"You mean me or the two nurses who were falling all over you?" I joked.

"Of course you, silly. In my eyes, there can only be Chelsea" he said, with a wink.

Okay, that made me blush so much that the redness was even reflected back to me on my shiny bag. I turned away from him quickly, praying hard that he had not seen it.

"Ow....my Chelsea is turning as red as the Manchester United's jerseys again!" he teased, laughing.

I've been blushing so much when I'm around him that David must have thought it was a norm.

If only he knew that I only blush when I'm around him.

"I only wanted you to get better so I can torture you" I quickly say, changing the topic.

"Torture me? You wouldn't dare!" he said, playfully messing up my hair.

"Do you realize that we don't have transport back?" I asked him, smiling mysteriously.

"Easy! I can call my Mom" he said, taking out his cell but I snatched it away from him.

"Today, we're taking the double decker bus back!" I said, sticking out my tongue at him.

"Hey! That's not fair! Give me back my cell!" he cried and chased me around.

"Come on, it'll be fun. I promise" I assured him, knowing how much he dislikes public transport.

"Chelsea! Why are you doing this to me?" he asked, helplessly.

"Because I want to torture you!" I replied, sticking my tongue out.

Despite my protests, David booked the entire upper floor of the double decker bus for just the two of us. The driver was only too happy to oblige because of David's money. Although he insisted that he did it to make me happy, I somehow thought it was the other way around. However, I was too happy to argue with him. Before that, I always have to fight my way to the top and once I'm at the top, it would be too crowded from me to enjoy the scenery because it would be packed with tourists. The Double Decker always makes me feel better. Being right on top of it and able to view everything from the top makes me feel as if I've conquered the world.

"Thanks, David for everything!" I gushed, happily.

"Told you that I would do anything to make you happy" he said, with a wink.

"Ah! Save all that sweet talk for your future girlfriend! If I've not known you better, I would think that you're in love with me" I said, laughing.

"What If I am?" he asked.

"Huh?" I repeated, taken aback by his answer.

"What if I'm in love with you, Chelsea?" he repeated himself.

"Don't say things you don't mean, David" I warned him.

"I think I'm in love with you. I mean it" he said, suddenly turning serious.

"Are you sure your fever did not damage your brain or something?" I asked, laughing nervously.

"I love you" he repeated, loud and clear.

I swear I felt the colour leaving my face as I quickly turned away from him. My heart was doing somersaults and it felt as if there were hundreds of butterflies fluttering in my stomach. His sudden confession made me happy and sad, all at the same time. This is what I've been afraid of all this time.I always knew that we were growing too close and as much as I've tried pulling myself away, I couldn't. I was selfish because I really like being with him but I just couldn't return his feelings. The last thing that I wanted to do was to hurt him.

"Chelsea, you're turning blue. Please breathe" he teased, forcing a smile.

"David, I'm sorry but...I can't" I whispered, barely audible.

"Why? Is it because of Shawn?" he asked, gently.

"Yes. I'll always and only love him" I replied, a tear slide down my cheek but I quickly wiped it away.

"I'm not going to replace Shawn or ask you to stop loving him. All I'm asking is for you to open another space in your heart for me" he said.

"I..." I started to say but was cut off.

"You don't have to answer me now, Chelsea. I just wanted you to know that I love you...before it's too late" he explained.

"The answer is no, David" I insisted, not wanting to give him any more hopes.

"Don't I deserve a chance? Can't you just give us both a chance?" he probed further.

"No. I don't want to hurt you, David. I don't think I can love anyone else as much as I've loved Shawn. You deserve so much more. You deserve someone who could love you with all their heart" I confirmed, shaking my head.

"But you're the only one I love" he insisted.

"And Shawn is the only one I love" I repeated again, although I'm not sure whether I was trying to convince him or it was the other way around.

"I'll wait for the day for you to love me back" he said, stubbornly.

"David, please...don't do this" I begged him.

"My head hurts when I think of you. My heart aches when I did not see you. My stomach hurts when I miss you. Tell me, what am I supposed to do?" he asked.

"Forget about me. I would only cause you more pain, David" I said, with a sigh.

"Chelsea, can you honestly tell me that you did not feel the same way as I do? Even for a second? After everything we've been through?" he asked.

"Sarang heyo, David. Best friend. That's all. It was never more than that. I'm sorry if I've led you to believe otherwise" I explained, still remembering the Korean word that he taught me.

"Sarang heyo, Chelsea" he whispered, before turning away from me.

We didn't exchange a single word after that as we sat on the bus, in silence. We were both lost in our own thoughts. Suddenly, even being on top of a Double Decker bus, the wind could not blow my sadness away. A million thoughts went through my mind and I almost felt as if my head was exploding. Ocassionally, I would stole a glance at him and it broke my heart to see him so disappointed and sad. He looked so...defeated. Although we were sitting just across from each other on the bus, I suddenly felt as if he is a million miles away from me.

"I think we should not see each other for a while" he said, when we reach the stop.

"Yeah....I agree" I said, although my heart was screaming for the other way.

"Take care, Chelsea" he said, softly.

"David, I really hope we can still be friends" I said, softly.

"Me too" he agreed before turning away without another word.

I watched him walked away from me. A part of me wanted to stop him and hug him but part of me was rooted on the spot. He didn't even turned back for a second look like he always did. He looked as if he was carrying the whole world on his shoulders. As he disappeared into a corner, I collapsed on the floor and broke down in tears. I knew that I've lost him for good. I thought I did the right thing but now, I'm not too sure anymore. How did everything which seemed to right just a few minutes ago became so wrong?

It hurts me just as much as it hurts him...

Because I lied when I told him that I did not feel the same way as he does.