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Saturday, April 25, 2009

Rhythm Of My Soul - Chapter 12 (Finale)

Without him, I have no reason to smile.

Without him, I have no reason to cry.

Without him, I have no reason to love.

Without him, I have no reason to breathe.

I never thought that I could find another reason to be happy, let alone to live again. Losing him was the hardest thing that I had ever had to go through because he meant the world to me. Fate was cruel for taking him away but perhaps, it was all part of His plan. I needed to learn to love myself and to allow other people to love me If I had not lost him, I would never learn the true power of love neither will I ever know that I could love someone else as much as I had loved him, or maybe even more.

A tear rolled down my cheeks as I put some flowers on his grave. I still miss him but at the same time, I knew that it was time to move on. I tried to live my life by keeping the memories that he had given to me close to my heart. Eventhough I could no longer see or hear him, I knew that he is always there looking after me. I no longer led my life in self-pity and guilt because I finally understood that it wasn't my fault. Like every other person, I too deserve to be happy.

I smiled warmly as I look up to the person standing beside me. My hand slipped into his as we walked back to the car together. Once in the car, my thoughts drifted back to the day of the accident again.

*Flashback Starts*

I didn't know how long I was on the floor, crying before someone decided to take hold of me and guided me to David's side. I cradled him in my arms, there was blood on my hands and face but I didn't care. I just wanted him to be okay. I just wanted him to open his eyes and smile at me. I want him to tell me that everything is okay.

"Please don't leave me. You promised me! " I cried, rocking him in my arms.

No response.

"I'm so sorry, David. Please, just wake up. I'll do anything" I sobbed, hysterically.

No response.

"It's Valentine's Day. Please, not now. Not today. Not ever. I just can't.....can't go on without you" I screamed in pain.

"I'm not deaf, you know"

I jumped a little when I heard his voice. I thought I was hallucinating because when I look down at him, his eyes were still tightly shut. I looked around but no one else seemed to have heard what I have heard. I am seriously losing my mind. But then, I heard it again.

"You're not hallucinating, Chelsea. I said that I'm not deaf. You don't have to scream" he repeated and this time, I could see that he was slowly opening his eyes.

"David! You're....you're alive!" I cried in shock as everyone else gasps around us.

"Of course, I didn't forget my promise" he replied, weakly.

"How are you feeling? Where are you hurt?" I asked, urgently.

"It's just my arm. I think I might have fractured it" he replied.

But I knew it wasn't just his arm. Surely, a fractured arm could not have caused so much blood. I was worried sick but I didn't want him to panic. I kept looking towards the road but until now there's no sign of the ambulance. I was so afraid that I would lose him again. With the time ticking away, it could only mean one thing, that he was losing more blood.

"Hold on, David. The ambulance is on it's way" I whispered, hugging him tight.

"The ambulance? I don't think that is necessary" he said, struggling to sit up.

"I know you're afraid of the hospital but please....." I begged.

"No, I'm really okay! It's just my arm" he insisted.

Everyone gasped in surprise when David not only managed to sit up but he managed to stand up as well. Just a minute ago, everyone thought that he was going to dead for sure. No one could grasp what really just happen. They were witnessing a miracle happening right in front of their eyes.

David laughed and quickly explain what really happened. He had managed to roll himself under the car just in time. In that process, he must have fractured his arm and fainted from shock. But other than that, he is perfectly fine. In order to prove his point, he started jumping and dancing around. I followed him, afraid that he might collapsed at any time. But he did not.

"But the blood...." I started to stammer.

"I...I got some paint but they're not red, are they? You see, I'm colour blind so they all look the same to me" the old lady asked in a small voice.

I don't know why but suddenly, I started laughing and everyone else joined in. Everything has happened so quickly that no one realized that the blood on the road were all just red paint. I was so relieved that suddenly, tears started forming in my eyes again. But this time it is different, they were happy tears.

"Young man, thank you very much for saving my life" the old lady thanked him as everyone else erupted into an applause.

"You're most welcome. I'm glad that you're okay" he said, smiling.

"But the curse...." I suddenly remembered.

"Can't you see, Chelsea? There was no curse, there never has been one before" he assured her.

"Please, don't ever do that to me again. You scared me half to death" I said, trying to stop myself from crying but I failed miserably.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily. I'm sorry to scare you like that" he quickly apologized and hugged me.

"This is one Valentine that neither of us can forget" I said, snuggling closer to him.

"And I'm going to make it even more memorable! Look, there's paint on your face!" he said, laughing as he wipe his red hands on both my cheeks.

"Why...you..." I cried as I chased him around.

It was hard to believe that just a few minutes ago, one was crying while the other was on the brink of death.

*Flashback Ends*

"Why are you laughing for no reason?" he asked, bringing me back to the present day.

David. My David.

Sometimes I still can't believe that he's mine.

"You were thinking of Shawn, weren't you? You always have this faraway look whenever we visit his grave" David said.

"Actually, I was thinking of you" I admitted, with a smile.

"About the accident again? Chelsea, you have to let this go" he advised me.

Although it has been quite some time since the accident, it still haunts me. It still send chills down my body whenever I thought about how close I was to losing him. Subconciously, I was becoming more and more protective of David. I don't think I could ever go through hat I went through that day again.

David stopped the car by the roadside and turned to face me. I knew that his heart broke to see me in this state because he once told me that it felt as if I am living through my days in fear. I'm not going to deny that it did affect our relationship but David stayed strong for the both of us. I quickly turned away to hide my tears and worries from him.

"Can you hear that?" David asked, softly.

"Hear what?" I asked, curiously, looking at him.

"This" David said, putting my head to his chest.

Thum. Thum. Thum.

"Your heart beat?" I questioned him.

"Yes. That's the rhythm of my soul. You're the one who gave me that rhythm and right now, it's playing just for you" David explained.

" David.." I started to say but was cut off when he took my hand instead and put it on his heart.

Thum. Thum. Thum.

"Can you feel that? It beats solely for you and it'll never stop beating unless you want it to. What happened was just an accident but what matters now is that I'm right here beside of you. Don't you think we should treasure our time together instead of worrying what might happen in the future?" he continued.

"I'm so sorry" I whispered softly.

"Don't be. Please don't cry, Chelsea. We'll go through this together. Our love will help us through. I love you and it tears me apart just to see you cry" David further explained. "Don't you want the rhythm of my soul to play a happy melody? Because right now I think it's playing some kind of a funeral song"

"David! What are you talking about?" I asked and giggled through my tears.

"Well, you're crying! You have to smile so that the rhythm of my soul will play me a happy melody!" teased David, with a wink.

I tried to smile but instead I broke down into laughter. David leaned closer and pulled me close into his embrace. We were both glowing with love and happiness as I finally let go of my fear. I thought that I had everything under control but yet again, I was wrong. I realized that all this time I wasn't only hurting myself but David too.

"Now the rhythm of my soul is playing one happy bouncy song! said David with a smile.

"Sarang heyo, David" I said before leaning over to kiss him.

"What? Just friends?" he asked confused, as he pulls away.

"It means I Love You. I know, David" I replied, with a smile.

"Wow! That took you a long time! I didn't know...you're...well, not that smart!" he said, with a laugh.

"Hey! Told you I'm bad with languages!" I retorted.

"Just kidding. I love you twice as much!" he replied, as he kissed me back.


Curse or no curse,

He is mine

And I'm never letting him go again

For he is the rhythm of my soul.

Rhythm Of My Soul - Chapter 11

Today, February the 14th marks a very special day in our relationship because it is our first Valentine together. Being with David is very much like being on Cloud 9, on top of everyone and everything else. I'm no longer walking on Earth but rather I was floating. I am so happy everyday that at times, I wondered if this was just all a dream.

I really never thought that I would love someone so much again. I feel blessed each time I'm in his embrace but there is always this tiny voice inside of my head that is telling me that I may lose him. I've grown more protective over him which sometimes makes him upset but I just couldn't help it. Perhaps, I feel guilty for not being there when he was sick and I'm slowly making it up for it.

I've forgotten how many times I've changed before deciding to wear the baby pink dress for our Valentine date. I was so excited and nervous, just as I've been for every single date with him. It was weird, usually the butterflies in my stomach would disappear after the second or third date but when I'm with David, every date was like my first date. It's just like when I thought that I've loved him with all my heart, I found myself loving him more with each day.

Just then the door bell rang, interrupting my thoughts. I took a deep breath and rushed to the door. I invited him and gave him a kiss lightly on his cheek. David looked so handsome in his black coat and cute little bow tie. He handed me a bunch of flowers and a small present, while pestering to open my present quickly. I could only laugh at his eagerness. He wanted to know if I like what was inside the box.

I was delighted to find a beautiful heart shaped locket with our pictures in it. He turned me around and fasten it around my neck. Suddenly, I was reluctant to give him his present because I was afraid that he wouldn't like it. What I once thought was the best gift for him suddenly became so lame. However, it was already too late. He has already seen the box in my hand. I had no choice but to hand it to him, praying that he would somehow like it.

"Wait, can you open it when you're home?" I asked, softly.

"Why can't I open it now?" he asked, disappointed.

"Because I don't want to see you cry" I said, laughing.

"Wow! What is it that is in this box that can make me cry?" he asked, curiously.

"You would know when you open it" I said, mysteriously.

"Fine. So are you ready?" he asked, sticking his arm out.

"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!" I sighed as I held his arm.

"There goes the pig again! Now wonder you're dressed in pink today" he teased, laughing.

"Hey! I sure wish Charlene is here today!" I said, with a pout.

"Too bad! She's too busy with her boyfriend to annoy me" he replied.

"You wait. Char and I are sure to murderlise you one day!" I said, with an evil laugh.

Charlene and I became fast friend and we always gang up together to go against David, much to his dismay. The two of them can hardly let a day go by without them getting on each other's throats. They quarrel over everything and sometimes, over nothing at all! Still, I know that they will always help each other in a heartbeat if either of them is in trouble. Like Charlene always put it, they quarrel just to show how much they love each other.

David took me to the most romantic restaurant by the beach. We had our dinner under a sky full of stars while listening to the waves gently splashing around us. I couldn't have been happier. He really made me feel as if I'm the luckiest girl on Earth. We chatted all night, reminiscing both the good and the bad times together.

After dinner, David and I went down to the beach. I secretly wonder if I was once a mermaid in my past life because of my obsession over beaches. David laughed hard when I told him about that. We snuggled closer to each other as David wrapped a blanket around us. For a while, no words were exchanged between us but it was the most comfortable silence ever. I find myself wishing that the night would never end.

"Look! A shooting star!" I cried excitedly when I saw the shooting star.

However, David was already closing his eyes making a wish. I quickly did the same. When I opened my eyes, David was staring at me which immediately made me blush. It reminded me of a scene in one of the dramas that I've recently watched. I knew what was going to happen next. I slowly closed my eyes and waited for his lips to touch mine. But instead, I heard him giggle before breaking out in laughter.

"There are sand all over your face!" he said.

I blushed and wondered why did I always have to embarrass myself. I always have to think that whenever David is leaning towards me, he would be after my lips. It's not like I have Angelina Jolie's kissable lips or that I have a sign plastered on my lips that reads 'Kiss Me!'. Okay, Chelsea....I'm seriously losing my mind, yet again.

However, lost in my own mental debate, I was brought back to reality when I suddenly felt a finger brushed across my cheek. I opened my eyes.....but wait, was I closing my eyes all this time? Great, now David must think I'm a complete psycho! He gently wiped away the sand and leaned closer. Before I could stop my heart from jumping out from my throat, his lips was on mine.

And....I didn't want it to end.

"I know that you didn't want the kiss to end but we still need oxygen to survive, right?" David teased.

How in the world did he know what I was thinking?

"So, what did you wish for?" he asked, smiling sweetly.

"That we'll always be together. Great, now look what you've done!" I cried, horrified.

"What?" he asked, surprised.

"I've said out my wish and now it won't come true!" I grumbled.

"That's silly. We'll always be together because we love each other. Chelsea, Happy Valentine's Day" he whispered, holding me close.

"Same to you too" I whispered.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Everything started great that day but I've forgotten when did things started to go downhill.

Was it when the wind blew away my blue beaded scarf?

Was it when she told him her wish because everyone knows that wishes don't come true once you say it out?

Was it when David's car broke down?

Was it when both our cellphones were out of battery?

Was it when there are no taxis spotted eventhough on normal days, there will be a lot of them?

"Why the long face, Chelsea?" David asked, just as we reach my front door.

"I have a really bad feeling about this" I admitted, finally.

"That's the problem with you, Chelsea! You're always thinking of the negative! Why don't you think of it this way? God gave us flat tires so we can have more time together? We could have reach your place in minutes but see how long it took us to walk" he said, in a comforting voice.

"I don't want you to go alone" I said, softly.

"The taxi stand is just around the corner. Are you afraid that a drop dead gorgeous woman might appear from nowhere and kidnap me or you just can stand a second without me by your side?" he joked.

"Let me go with you" I insisted, barely cracking a smile.

"Chelsea, don't be silly. I'll be okay. I'll call you the minute I reach home, okay?" he promised.

"Okay" I replied, reluctantly.

"Love you" he whispered, as he kissed me goodnight.

I watch him walk away but I still could not shake that terrible feeling away. Somehow, the feeling was very familiar. My heart suddenly stopped beating when I remembered that I too, had the exact same feeling just before Shawn told me that he is suffering from cancer. Yes, it was that sinking feeling. It was as if something really bad was going to happen.

Without wasting another minute, I ran to the direction that David was heading. Just at that time, I heard a loud bang just ahead and someone was screaming and crying. I took off my heels and ran as fast as I could, all the time praying that David is safe.

There was an accident involving a van but I could not see another vehicle. That was when I realize that the car has hit someone and the victim is still stuck underneath the car. From what she gathered from the people around, a young man has rushed out to save an old lady from being hit by the car. Unfortunately, he, himself did not have enough time to avoid the car. The old lady was by the road, crying hysterically for help.

And then, I saw something that confirmed my worst fear.

There by the roadside was the present that I've given him.

The box has been shredded to pieces.

And there were papers flying everywhere.

They were my gift to him.

The letters that I wrote to him.

The letters that I've never sent out.

I felt my world fell apart right before eyes. I watched in horror as two men pulled out David from underneath the car. His white shirt is now stained with some sort of red liquid......could it be his blood? I realized that they were everywhere....I've not seen so much... blood before. I felt my knees gave way and I collapsed on the floor, tears rushing down my cheeks. I watched as they carried his lifeless body away from the car. The driver quickly called for help and I could see that his fingers were shaking as he dialled the emergency number.

I was crying so much that a few ladies have gathered around and tried to console me but I couldn't hear a word that they were saying. I wanted to scream his name but I could not find my voice. I wanted to be by his side but I was paralyzed from waist down, or at least, it felt like that. I just couldn't move or function anymore.

I wish that I would wake up from this nightmare soon.

I am cursed.

Cursed.

Cursed.

Cursed.